If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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