She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize