I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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