He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I can text with my tongue
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
