I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
