Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
