I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
