I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
