Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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