Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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