Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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