how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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