Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize