When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
