they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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