Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
