If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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