Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
