I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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