Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
