Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dignity is for republicans.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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