remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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