dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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