she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
