Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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