I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
