no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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