I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
