giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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