i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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