But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Still dying that you shit outside
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
