Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
is that a dick in a sweater?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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