I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They have beer where we have blood.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
