I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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