I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
