At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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