This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
