Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
