porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
