If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
