dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize