Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
