So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
