Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
