I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize