and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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