you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
