Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
