Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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