I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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