Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Houston, we have a squirter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize