time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
