The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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