I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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