I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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