Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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