Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
